It’s weird when every thing you know about a person and believe to be true can all be thrown out the window by a single action, a single sentence spoken, a single movement made in less than a second. Your relationship with that person is forever change, and you can never look at them as the same. Your perception of them, as this great human being, one that you could look up to and lived a life of morals is suddenly cast down from the throne you placed him on. You begin to question if it’s your fault, if you placed him on upon a throne that he didn’t wish upon himself as well? But then you realize you didn’t. He wanted that throne, he promised himself he’d be a better husband to his wife this time around, a better man, a better father, that his old ways would never come back to haunt him and that he was a good soul.
My how things can change so suddenly.
I found myself sick to my stomach when they kissed, I felt the shift in the air the moment it was all happening and I knew it was wrong. When I denied him he went elsewhere, to someone weaker, someone more willing, and someone who sometimes just doesn’t think. But what excuse is that? Of course she was thinking, she just wasn’t thinking of what’s right. She was thinking of herself. When he touched her the way he did, didn’t she feel his wedding ring graze her body? Because I felt it the second he tried to wrap his arm around me, and that’s the moment I pulled away.
There’s this saying, that one wrong action, one fault, doesn’t make a man a horrible person. And it’s very true, he’s not a horrible person. But it was a horrible thing to do. And what’s worse is he knew it, he just didn’t care.
It made me look at relationships differently. It made me scared in a way I didn’t think I could be. Here was this man, this great man whom I trusted to be a stand up guy, always doing the right thing especially in the hardest times when really it was all just for show. It broke my heart. It made me wonder how many others there were, if his wife had any idea, if this really was how he behaved while she was gone. It made me wonder how he could look himself in the mirror and tell himself he’s being a better man than he used to be. It made me wonder that if this is him being a better man, who the hell was he before?
